厌倦了做那些永远不会发生的改变? 坦尼娅卡彭特博士 和 海伦尼古拉斯博士 从 心理学院 explain how we can make meaningful changes to our lives by employing psychological techniques.

巴黎人贵宾厅如何做出能够坚持的改变?

尝试过Veganuary,但是没有奶酪就不行? 尝试过一月的干燥,但在和朋友出去玩一晚后失去了它? Want to make some changes in your life but don’t know how to make them stick? 也许心理学能帮上忙!

两块正方形的蛋糕放在一小瓶牛奶上.

January is often a time when we really assess the year before 和 think about how we may want to make changes in our life. It often seems to start out well - we tell all our friends 和 family about our goals, 新年新计划, 他们似乎对巴黎人贵宾厅的真实意图印象深刻. But 也许 around the middle of the month, 某物 else starts to happen. It gets harder 和 harder or we get lured away by that tempting night out or late-night burger. 到月底, 你已经三天没有使用新的健身房会员了, or maybe you secretly had a bit of your flatmate’s cow’s milk in your tea when you ran out of almond milk. 失望开始降临, 和 you might start to think that 也许 you aren’t able to make this change long term.

好吧, it probably doesn’t surprise you that researchers have been studying behaviour change 和 features of change since the 1970s. In their research, they have found that there are some key points that are useful when making goals. We need to underst和 some important factors in changing our behaviour in order to succeed.

Try to reflect on your own situation by thinking about the goals you have made but struggled to achieve. Having these situations in mind will help you to underst和 possible reasons for you not being about to make them stick.  让巴黎人贵宾厅看看制定目标时的四个关键因素:

 正确的时间做出正确的改变

 

“已经过去了很长时间,但我知道,改变将会到来” 

山姆库克


 

一个女人穿着莱卡运动服和太阳镜跑步

The first question you might want to ask yourself is ‘Do I have the resources I need to make this change in my life?’

太经常, people set out with 好 intentions for the changes they want to make but have not thought about what they will need in order to make those changes. 例如, maybe you set out to go to the gym 5 times a week 和 train for a half marathon. 理论上这是一个很好的目标, 但是,如果你决定在考试季中期这样做呢, 同时也同意承担两班倒的工作?

That’s a tough time to set yourself such a huge goal 和 you might be better off planning it for another time, 或者设定一个更可行的目标——也许做一个 每周parkrun 也许? 

让你的目标与你的价值观相符

 

“人生的成功意味着坚持自己的价值观”

拉斯·哈里斯,ACT(接受与承诺疗法)创始人

你想要你的生命代表什么? 你知道价值观和目标不是一回事吗? A value is more likely to be a more long-st和ing principle that guides us 和 that we would like to uphold, 而目标是你想要实现的东西. 简单地说,你实现了目标,但你 生活的 你的价值观.

这对你有什么用呢? One example might be if having strong bonds 和 friendships is one of 你的价值观, then it may be necessary for you to reflect on how to maintain these relationships. 例如, you might practice daily compassion towards others 和 yourself 和 develop personal qualities such as tolerance 和 patience. Your motivation is far more likely to increase if the goal suitably matches your value.

 想知道你的价值观是什么? 看一看 Russ Harris博士的网站 

 你想要改变的潜在障碍

 

巴黎人贵宾厅就是巴黎人贵宾厅一直在等待的改变.”

巴拉克•奥巴马(Barack Obama)

做出持续的改变可能会在巴黎人贵宾厅的生活中产生连锁反应, 也许 friends 和 family will feel the impact of you choosing to study more, 戒酒或增加锻炼. Think about how you can recruit the people in your life to be supportive 和 help them underst和 why you want to make the change 和 how it might benefit them too (for instance: you might be a happier, 身边压力小的人).

Not allowing the people around you to underst和 your changes might create barriers; your mates might feel disappointed when you aren’t drinking with them, 这可能会给你更大的压力,让你屈服,喝上几杯.

怎样才能从目标的失败中恢复过来

“Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence.” 

奥维德

 

有时巴黎人贵宾厅会在压力大的时候吃东西, 紧张的一天过后,巴黎人贵宾厅有时会喝一两杯, 有时, 当巴黎人贵宾厅遇到困难时,巴黎人贵宾厅只想狂吃盒装电视,然后冷静下来. 所有这些都可能发生在巴黎人贵宾厅试图“好”的时候. 复发有时是改变的一部分. Becoming aware of these might help you plan for how to build them in to your goal (you might decide to be a flexitarian, 有时吃肉,但主要以素食者的身份生活). Or you might have some motivational quotes to help get you back on track should you cave 和 have that night out with friends rather than study. 

“要养成的习惯”这几个字被霓虹灯点亮

 所有这些例子的关键技能都是自我意识和理解. It is only when we know ourselves that we can underst和 what goals will be useful for us to implement 和 what barriers we need to overcome.

Think about how you can incorporate the goals into your daily life so that the change becomes longer lasting 和 more effective. 小的改变更容易融入巴黎人贵宾厅的生活

Remember that in order for 某物 to become a habit, you need to do 某物 at least 30 times.

设定目标时一个有用的技巧是遵循SMART规则.

聪明的代表:

S ——具体

你每天晚上要学习多长时间? 你能制定一个切实可行的学习计划吗? 当你感觉不舒服的时候,你能制定一个备用计划吗?

M ——可测量的

你怎么知道你的目标是否有效? If you aren't getting better grades or are still struggling with deadlines, 然后你应该能够看到这个,并想出一个新的行动计划. 保持目标的灵活性和可测量性将有助于你实现它们.

A ——可以实现的

这真的是可行的吗? 你真的能做到一周去5次健身房吗? 还有没有其他的目标让你仍然觉得你在做呢 某物 好? 也许从每周去三次健身房开始会更现实一些.

R -与你的人生目标相关

Like with values, does your goal fit in with your immediate or long-term life plan? 如果没有,这可能会影响你的动机,导致自我破坏. Perhaps 你的价值观 are around being sociable, getting healthy 和 keeping finances in 好 order. 加入昂贵的健身房可能不是一个明智的目标. 你可能只会对费用感到不满而不去. You might find it more beneficial to your joint values to find a goal for exercise that is sociable 和 cost effective. 

T ——基于时间的

你希望这种改变什么时候发生? 更换需要多长时间? 它需要被分解成更小的部分吗? 例如, 如果你正在考虑素食主义,但这是一个很大的改变, 为什么不从不吃肉的日子开始呢? 然后你就可以判断这个目标是否符合你的价值观. 

结论

In summary, being self-aware 和 following these simple guides will help you stick to your goals. 正如玛雅·安杰洛(Maya Angelou)所写的:“走上一条全新的道路是困难的, 但并不比留在原地更难, 试着改变一下,看看你做得怎么样. 

记得:

  • 让目标对你有意义
  • 使用SMART目标技巧
  • 把这些目标融入你的日常生活
  • 和朋友一起

巴黎人贵宾厅失败或无法保持目标的一些原因是:

  • 这些目标可能不现实
  • We may feel overwhelmed by the amount of change we have set ourselves up for
  • 巴黎人贵宾厅可能缺乏执行/保持目标的动力
  • 巴黎人贵宾厅周围的人给巴黎人贵宾厅的支持可能没有巴黎人贵宾厅觉得需要的那么多
  • 你可能还没准备好改变 

 

 坦尼娅卡彭特博士 和 海伦尼古拉斯博士 lecture in the 心理学院 at the 巴黎人贵宾厅 at an undergraduate 和 postgraduate level including the MSc咨询, 二元同步通信临床心理学二元同步通信咨询心理学.

All views expressed in this blog are the Academic’s own 和 do not represent the views, policies or opinions of the 巴黎人贵宾厅 or any of its partners.